Light and Dust

It was the end of 2016 and I had just undergone an ankle operation. All went well, but part of the recovery involved keeping my foot off of the ground for two weeks; in fact, even resting my toe on the ground was FORBIDDEN! So most of my time was spent on the sofa. I had just purchased His Dark Materials by Phillip Pullman. This was the perfect opportunity to read the entire series. While I was immersed in the first book, my mind kept on focusing on the term “dust” that Pullman used to describe “consciousness”…

Light and Dust

by Paul Andrews

Release date: 2019

Available now on:

At one point during my recovery, I remember sitting there on the sofa and thinking about where I belonged in music. What was my identity? What should I be doing? I knew I had my own take on music, but I felt I wasn’t being as authentic as I could be unless I wrote and performed my own material. Then that moment came where I made the commitment: I would record my own album. Everything about it felt right and it all seemed possible. I needed all my life experience and all my musical knowledge up to that point to convince myself the time was now.

The “Light and Dust” title came to me rather quickly. Being influenced by the Pullman series, I became interested in how different people had different metaphors for connecting to the universe (or to their god). For me, “light” represents who I am in my purest form. I wanted that light, a creative light, to be my guide while making this record. The “dust” in the title represents the physical identity (literally, our bodies), slowly dissolving, leaving only our true selves.

The lyrics of Light and Dust

Adagio

the calm before the raging storm
the breath before the words were spoken
the black before a blade of sun
this only boundless moment

cope with the changing tide
balance between the fast and slow
absolute ’til you decide
tempo adagio

a voice within prosaic crowds
a step outside their rhythm
you have it all, but careful of the doubt
regret by one decision

suffering
what might have been?
drowning along
the current trends
ascertain
your path again
the meaning of it all
the meaning of it all

open
an ocean of potential intention
all is open
step forward
sempre tempo adagio

don’t let them lead forever
tempo of your endeavor

Sensual

would you allow me to explore your needs?
dive in your depths, fathom new release?
can you feel it now?
i wanna be sure
let me show you again
do you like what i’m doin’?

the liberation as we give and take
while we guide ourselves with the sounds we’re makin’
think i feel now
i wanna be sure
can you do it again?
’cause i like what you’re doin’

is there better than what we know?
time to discover ce qui est nouveau
there’s something new to find
as we cross the line to sensual

a shift in notion, however small
a single nuance can change it all
the subtlety unbinds
what our senses find is sensual

shiftin’ colors right before our eyes
like a painting changes in the light
can you see it now?
i wanna be sure
did the hue remain
or did it just start turnin’?

just as easy as a single breath
exhalin’ softly right across you neck
have you reached the line?
there’s no need to say
let your body display
what it is you’re feelin’

so much better than what we know
what we’ve discovered when letting go
something new to find
as we cross the line to sensual

a shift in notion, however small
a single nuance can change it all
the subtlety defines
what our senses find is sensual

Avalon

is there a place where we can choose to see only truth?
let us refuse the volumes of noise, the urgent confusion

learning to read between the lines
discover deception in their designs
each new phrase a wall in this endless maze

avalon
seeking avalon

it is a seed among the trees?
or treasure that’s lost in fathoms of sea?
with gathered dust?
under scattered leaves?

opened my mind, searching for truth
recover the wonder found in my youth
on a path without anything to prove

avalon
seeking avalon

and your face has launch a thousand memories…

Echoes

standing out
no echoes on the plains
free in casting light
no shadows will remain

they faintly appear
sounds; familiar
designed to dismay

mental states emanate
and ricochet
off the walls i create

soon they cascade
seized within the flow
phrases castigate
words from long ago

flying out
no echoes in the clouds
free to move about
living in the now
soaring over doubt

i busy my time
fabricating
static making

dimming the din
(by) adding to the sound
masking frequencies of doubt

a respite detected
found between the folds
the calm recollected
a space of silent gold

floating out
no echoes out in space
neither day nor night
the concept will erase
floating silently in space

the words can’t leave a trace
in the vacuum here in space
new habits to create
no contemplating faith

The Chill

fragments of a time
break off into my mind
(never let it go
i’ve never let it go)

they randomly appear
and rally my unconquered fears
(tried to let it go
i’ve tried to let it go)

renavigate frustration, suffer through the dreams
internal conversations start to scream
and then i’m falling
into subconscious planes
where all decisions weigh the same

a memory from far away
the echo, louder than before
winter has gone away
the chill has still yet to let go

learn how to pay a debt
get rid of this regret
(still it’s holding on
still it’s holding on)

now stuck in retrograde
forever wishing time would fade
the borders that still separate
me from all of my mistakes

debased by out of place behavior on that day
still haunted by the words i let escape
stuck in a cycle
replaying line by line
maybe the end will finally change this time

a memory from far away
the echo, louder than before
winter has gone away
the chill has still yet to let go

and still i saw the rising sun
i thought had left me on those days i wasn’t strong
still i know that i was young
and now forgive myself for what i’ve done

Sunlight on Water

warm memories replay
staring at the sea
in the summer breeze
surrounded by sand
walking nowhere, hand in hand

sunlight on the water
framed by a clear blue sky
sunlight on the water
brings me back to better times

no cares in the world
there was time to play
chasing ebbing waves
boats, miles off the shore
and the sounds of days gone by

sunlight on the water
waves of gold mesmerize
sunlight on the water
worth more than you realize

sunlight on the water
framed by a clear blue sky
sunlight on the water
brings me back to better times

then the autumn sky tapered in
changing the summer breeze to winter winds
standing here now
i close my eyes, gratified

New Horizon

how much do we know? just what is reality?
(what is done)
some say it’s a choice, yet others say destiny
(and now)
i’m brought here by chance. ahead, a new path for me
(taking the old)
the old presents me with gold
the other with lessons of alchemy

take it in, let it out
trust the instinct, cast the doubt
look for a sign, then make up your mind

a brighter
new horizon
a skyline
i’ve never seen before

a pivotal point that alters your chemistry
or changes your state from water to scolding steam
give credit to luck, or blame it on apathy
the moment arrives, you’re faced with uncertainty

the stars aligned
divine design
the impact splinters a once stable line
the path diverges, plans are cast aside

a brighter
new horizon
colors
emerging from all around

a brighter
new horizon
music
created by different sounds

a starting point
the deviation
familiar root
a modulation
once you arrive you become alive

a brighter
(i’ve heard the sound)
new horizon
(i’ve seen the lights)
a calling
i can’t ignore anymore

where to now?
things have changed forever
without a doubt
i’ll never be the same.

Scars

some barely scratch the surface
others burrow deep and long
reminders of past betrayal
or yearning just to belong

a point where the pain was taken
a sign of letting someone in
how we evaded an ending
where a life can begin

scars of pain
scars of pride
some for show
some to hide
all beautiful in my eyes
like stars in the sky

the honor for seeking answers
a gage for how hard we try
a man who has never been broken
has never really questioned why

the effort in testing limit
the heart behind an endless fight
boldly red when first created
and some, like their memories,
fade from sight

scars of pain
scars of pride
some for show
some to hide
all beautiful in my eyes
like stars in the sky

the strongest defines us
assures us
we can go on
the boldest will reminds us
even horizons must break at dawn

life has written on your skin
where you are going, where you’ve been

Over and Over

saying it over and over
saying it over and over in my mind
still believing, hanging on

saying it over and over
but knowing it’s over, it’s over now
there’s nothing more, he’s gone

met by chance, i wasn’t looking
happened fast, we settled into our dream
the sky was always blue… yes, just like those eyes

crossed his heart, i held him to it
even said we’d travel europe
here i am still waiting, ‘cause he’d never lie

saying it over and over.
saying it over and over in my mind
still believing, hanging on

saying it over and over
but knowing it’s over, it’s over now
there’s nothing more, he’s gone

and i don’t know who i should blame?
not sure what, but something in him changed
one day he was here, then he went away

every night i keep on telling myself
he’s just waiting to come home
i know he’ll soon be coming home, yeah

i’ve been saying it for so long now
it eases my mind, it gets me through the day
yes, i know how the story goes
but i need to believe in something or nothing at all

saying it over and over now
saying over and over in my mind

Midnight in Blue

still awake in bed
thought you heard his voice again
staring into space
suffering through midnight in blue

midnight in blue

somehow you‘ve learned to feign a smile
told your friends you’re doing fine
yes, you make it though your days
but end up with your midnights in blue

midnight in blue
what can you do

if only he knew
you still sense his breath
you yearn for his touch
the warmth that you miss
midnight in blue

trudging down your road
waiting for the weight to ease
someday you’ll be miles away
from those memories of midnights in blue

Light and Dust

soundless dust
in the light
not a breath
disturbs its flight

time contained
suspended in this afterglow
a sense of peace
the calmness of a quiet snow

we lie alone
and shed our skin
unveiling still
our selves within

and as we’ve greyed
our memories have magnified in color
stretching beyond
the boundary of one life to another

each time we touch
i recognize
how we once felt
in other lives

two passing notes
that rest upon a common key
an interval
resonating eternally

the space between
our wandering thoughts
clarity gained
gravity lost

a lifetime culminating in this moment with you now
finally understood

and the dust
no longer us
as we become the light